Atmosphere: In the office. No buzz, still early at 830am.
Today is 17 Jun but Happy New Year to everyone on the face of this planet. My last blog was posted on 4 Apr 2004, which I clearly remembered was done at my workstation in Oracle Corporation in Singapore where I worked and after an 8-month notice, got thrown out with one-month's salary reimbursed for the "inconvenience". Eight months is a long notice, for a year that I worked, I only spent the first 4 months working, and the last 8 months surfing the Internet and chatting on Trillian.
Since my departure from Oracle Corporation, I've been to London and worked in two places, a hell called Tiffany & Co on Old Bond Street, and a heaven on earth called Kings College London in University of London. I've also been to all the B places in Britain - Bbbbrighton, Bbbbath, Bbbbluewater (and almost to Bbbbirmingham) and I went to Bbbberlin and Bbbbudapest, and then back to Bbbbangkok. I didn't plan for this to happen, what do they call it, "mere conincidence".
Yesterday (and I should've written this yesterday) I was a bit crestfallen at the sighting of an "ex's" wedding photos on the Internet. When I was in London, he replied to my sudden email announcing I was returning to Malaysia for the CNY, that he has "been in a steady relationship with a wonderful woman for a good many months now, and planning to get married sometime in the mid-year..." I've been curious since if he did eventually marry like he said he would, and last night I know he did.
He looked very good in every photo, better than I ever remembered him to be but then of course, "raja sehari" always look good on their special occassion. Naturally, the event looked joyous, and he deserves it. He is a nice man and deserves only the very best, and from the outset I knew I will not be the one. But to find the answer to a question that has occupied your mind for the past few months by stumbling upon the evidence on the Internet is mind-blowing. Sometimes the Internet can be such a convincing PI.
Anyway, like Emeryl said, always allow yourself a day, and only a day, to wallow. Because we are humans, and who else to tend to your emotional needs, if not yourself?! But the condition is you gotta pick yourself up from the rubbles of your mental state, snap back to reality and move on with your life.
This is precisely what I intend to do today and onwards. I will be heading to Ipoh after work today, to spend my Friday night and weekend with Janice and her family in the nutty town of Menglembu. Hopefully her nephew and niece, whom I'm looking forward to play with, will take my mind off to Finding Neverland.
Love,
Angel
Feeling Sombre
PS He did say, though, "Thanks for the memories and the times spent together... I'll always remember them. I do apologize for any wrongdoings and broken promises... " I've always thanked my lucky stars for allowing me the chance in my lifetime to be with a man who defied everything his family wants for him, to be with me. It will always be a memorable honour to me, but I lost him anyway.
Angel Lam
- Angel Lam
- Singapore
- Angel holds a degree in Communication from Monash University, Melbourne, Australia with specializations in Journalism and Psychology. She entered the United Nations system as the Communications Associate of the Malaysia country office, where she formulated and implemented media strategies on international development issues relating to integrity and transparency, democratic governance, environment, HIV/AIDS, poverty reduction and South-South cooperation, as well as gender issues and the Millennium Development Goals. Angel also worked on several development projects on Afghanistan, particularly in reviving its dried fruits industry through modern agro-processing methodologies, and in encouraging foreign direct investment to the reconstruction of Afghanistan, for which she championed while at the Afghanistan Investment Support Agency, the investment arm of the Government of Afghanistan. She is currently a recipient of the Lee Kuan Yew Postgaduate Scholarship at the LKY School of Public Policy, the political science arm of the National University of Singapore, where her work and research in international development and poverty alleviation continues.